The Best Thing You Can Do as a Parent

Parenting is probably the hardest thing I have ever done.  The idea of me writing a post about parenting seems like I’m out of my league.  I have only been a parent for 10 years.  And yet, the Lord has been nudging me to write this.  So, here goes.

Here is my advice:  The Best Think You Can Do as a Parent is to pray.

I have always been a woman of prayer, long before I became Kate’s mom.  I had built a habit of praying.  I spend quite a bit of time praying each day.  See my post on prayer by clicking here.

When I began preparing Kate’s room I prayed about what color to paint the walls.  I was leaning toward pink.  But the Holy Spirit kept leading me toward yellow.  Finally, I submitted to yellow and painted the walls yellow.

When Kate was home I had a friend ask her in Mandarin what her favorite color was.  Her response, “Yellow.”

My first experience praying for wisdom as a mom came the first night I had Kate.  We met around five in the afternoon.  Kate was absolutely the most adorable little girl I had ever seen.  We spent the evening eating dinner, bathing and playing.  When it was time for bed, she and I climbed into bed.  I kissed her on the head and snuggled up next to her.  She began to cry.

In a panic, I took her to our Chinese guide’s room and asked her to speak to Kate.  Our guide, Sherry, came back to our room with us.  She tucked Kate in bed, talked to her in Mandarin and told me Kate would go to sleep and left.

I locked the hotel room door and climbed back in bed next to Kate.  I could hear her soft crying. My heart broke.  What was it like to be Kate?  To go from a cruel orphanage to a woman who didn’t look a thing like you and who spoke funny?  What fear she must have felt!

I did the only thing I knew how to do, I prayed.  “Lord, what can I do for her?  How can I comfort her?  Help me.”

I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to do what any mom would do, pick her up and rock her.

I listened.

I pulled back the covers and gently cradled her in my arms.  I pressed her against my chest and began to rock her.  I sang “Jesus Loves Me” until she fell asleep in my arms.  I continued to do this for the next several months each night at bedtime.

Over the years, I have leaned on the Lord in my parenting through prayer.  He knows Kate better than I ever will.  He knows what is best for her.

A few years ago, we remodeled our house to prepare a room for Sara.  Again, I went to the Lord and asked what color we should decorate Sara’s room in.  This time the Holy Spirit led me to turquoise.

On the first day we met Sara, I asked the guide to ask her what her favorite color was.  “Blue, but not dark blue, light blue.”  I smiled toward Heaven.  God knew.  You can imagine her delight when everything in her room was turquoise.  She felt so special.  How could we know?  I didn’t, but God did.

Recently, Kate and I had hit a bump in the road.  She was rather upset with me.  Like a true teenager, she lashed out at me.  I wanted to react in my flesh.  I wanted to lash back.  But instead, I prayed.  “Lord, what does she need from me right now?  What is the best thing I can do to help her?”

Again, the Holy Spirit was rather direct with His instruction.  Hug her and tell her you love her.

I listened.

I walked into her room and ignored her words.  I took hold of my little girl and held her.  I told her how much I loved her.  I told her that no matter what she said or did, I would always love her.

An amazing thing happened.  She softened.  We both held each other and cried.  Soon, Kurt joined us in a group hug.  We just stood in the middle of her room holding each other, Kurt and I reiterating how much we love her.  Pretty soon, she was telling us how she loved us.

I am so glad I prayed at that moment.  It would have been so easy to react.  To tell her what she was saying was disrespectful.  To give her some consequence for her behavior.  To do what many parenting books would say to do.  But God knew better.

Parenting is hard.  But thankfully, we have a God who knows better.  We have a God who knows exactly how He knit our children together.  He knows what they need from us.

Just this morning I was talking to Him about my concerns in one area of parenting.  Again, I felt the Holy Spirit’s nudge, Just ask me.  So, I did.  I asked for wisdom.  I asked for direction.  I left it with Him.  I know an answer is coming.

In Jeremiah 33:3 God commands us, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”  I cannot tell you how many times as a parent I have called to Him and He has ALWAYS answered me.  He has given me wisdom I would never have come up with on my own.

Do you need help parenting? Try my simple steps.

Simple Steps:

Pray.  Ask the Lord for help.

Listen.  Stop and listen for the Holy Spirit.

Obey.  Do what He tells you to do.  You won’t be disappointed.