“Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with men is possible with God.'” Luke 18:27 (NIV)
Do you have something in your life that seems impossible to do? Have you tried and tried and tried and you just can’t quite do it? You might come close, but really, when it’s all said and done, nope, you didn’t or couldn’t.
I was recently sharing my story with a couple of people. I was talking to them about forgiveness.
I was sexually abused as a child. I went to counseling as a young adult. I trudged through a workbook with the help of my counselor. But after one year she told me we were done meeting. She explained that we had done all we could together and the rest of my healing would come from the Lord. I needed to finish my work with the Holy Spirit.
I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit to forgive. It seemed whenever I read a devotional it was written about the topic of forgiveness. More days than not, during my quiet time with the Lord, I would be directed to verses about forgiveness.
I set out to forgive. I would write long entries in my journal. I would meditate on verses about forgiveness. I prayed about forgiving them. I talked to other Christians about forgiving them. I would declare aloud, “I forgive … for …” But if I were completely honest, forgiveness never came.
Then, one regular, average, ordinary day I was talking with the Lord. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was living in Georgia and pacing in front of my fireplace. I shook my fist in the air and shouted, “I can’t.” Through sobs I cried out, “I have tried to forgive. I have done everything I can think of and I can’t. I know you tell me to forgive and I don’t know what else to do.”
Like Jesus calmed the storm in Mark, the Holy Spirit spoke to my soul in a small quiet voice. “I know you can’t, but I can. Let me do it.”
I fell to my knees, outstretched my hands to Heaven, and surrendered it to Him. “Take it Lord, take my hate, take my anger, take my unforgiveness. Take it all, Lord, take it all.”
I wish I could tell you I felt a weight lifting off me and I was free. No, I felt the same but believed God would do it for me. Over the following days, months, and years, God worked on my heart.
I don’t know when it happened, maybe it did happen on that day in Georgia, but it happened. God changed my heart. I can tell you with all that is in me, I have forgiven them.
Sometimes it seems God likes to give us the opportunity to show us just how powerful He is. About 12 years after that day I was in the company of one of my abusers. I had been around them several times between that day and this particular day. However, on this day, God showed me how amazing His forgiveness and love is.
I walked into the room where they were and before me sat a sad sight. Hunched over, on IV’s, just sort of staring off, sat one of the people I had hated. My heart was filled with compassion. I went to them and did what seemed to be my natural instinct, I wrapped my arms around them. The Lord filled my heart with so much love for this person. I wish I could describe how much love flowed in that moment. I can only tell you it was supernatural. No human heart can love that much. It was stronger than anything I have ever felt. The closest thing to is was the moment I held Kate in my arms for the first time or the moment when Sara sat next to me and I could hold her for the first time. If you are a mother you know that feeling. I tell you it was stronger.
God gave me a glimpse of His love in that experience. That night, as I lay in bed praying, I whispered something I never dreamed I would ever whisper, “Thank you for allowing me to be abused. I would have never known what your love felt like if I hadn’t hated so deeply. Thank you!”
Friends, what is it in your life that is IMPOSSIBLE? The thing you have tried to beat and it beats you every single time. The thing that just gets you in your core and leaves you feeling helpless, vulnerable, and may even lead to self-loathing.
Jesus is waiting to take it from you and do it for you. Call out to Him and completely surrender to Him. He can do what we cannot. We see the impossible. He does not. He cannot. “Nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37 (NIV)
