My Adoption Story Part 1

As I shared last week in the post Are You a Dreamer, I believe God gives us dreams.  He then makes a way for us to walk in those dreams.  For me, one of those dreams came when I was only 14.  And when God was nudging me, I didn’t realize He was dreaming a dream for me.

My mom and I were watching a news story about orphanages in China and China’s one child policy.  I watched in horror as the camera panned off the reporter and onto cages full of naked, head-shaved girls.  I remember those images like I just watched them yesterday.  Immediately, I turned to my mom and said, “Someday, I’m going to help those girls.”  And that was the beginning of the whisper of the dream God was dreaming for me.

When I was twenty and on a second date with my ex-husband, I told him my one deal breaker.  I wanted to adopt a daughter from China.  I thought that might scare him away because I had never actually met anyone who had adopted from China, I just knew that’s what I wanted to do.  He then shared with me how he was adopted and he couldn’t believe I was saying I wanted to adopt.  That conversation set us on the path toward marriage.

The following year, I was told I would never be able to have a biological child.  I always thought I’d have babies and lots of them AND adopt from China.  We were still married when the documentary “The Dying Rooms” was released.  Many of our friends at church began talking about adopting from China.  Finally, I wasn’t the only one with this crazy idea.  After a miscarriage and too many fights to count, we separated and divorced.  I felt like my dream of ever being a parent was gone.  I felt like a failure.  That’s another topic for another post.

A few more years past and on a spring day in 2000 I felt the Lord tell me to begin to pray for the children I would one day adopt.  Full of excitement that I might get the opportunity to be a mom, I began to pray.  I also began cross-stitching a Christmas tree skirt that I could pass down from generation to generation.  I was making that tree skirt for my daughter and her daughter.  Each time I picked it up, I would pray for the children I would one day adopt.

As I looked at my financial situation, I didn’t see how I would ever be able to afford a child, let alone the cost of an international adoption.  But God knew, because He had orchestrated the whole thing.  Later that year, out of the blue, I received a 30% raise at work.  I then moved companies which meant a little more pay.  But still, it wasn’t enough to care for a child and I was still living in a one bedroom apartment.  I did the only thing I knew to do, pray for the children I would one day adopt.  I eventually finished that tree skirt which we use every Christmas and one day I will pass it on.

One afternoon, I got an interesting letter in the mail.  I had been in a car accident when I was 17 and it had settled.  Five years later, the insurance company sent me $5000 out of the blue.  Now, in 2001, I got that interesting letter.  I took it to a friend of mine who is an attorney.  She looked into it and said it seemed legit.  I should join the class action law suit.  So, I did.  In the spring of 2002, I received a very large sum of money in the mail from the class action law suit.  Large enough to place a down payment on a house one-third the asking price.  I changed jobs again making significantly more money, enough to take care of any children I would adopt.  I moved into our three bedroom home and continued praying for the children I would one day adopt.

In the spring of 2003 I had a breast cancer scare.  In mid July I had a biopsy.  While I was waiting for the results, I decided that if I didn’t have breast cancer I would do more than just pray for the children I would one day adopt, I would actually adopt.  The results came back negative.  Now I began to pray about what to do next.  I knew it was time to do something but didn’t know how.  The answer came early in December.  I received a large sum of money, the exact amount I would need for an adoption from China.  I turned 30 on December 15, and began telling people I was going to adopt from China.  I reached out to America World Adoption Association after Christmas.  I was told that yes, single women could adopt from China and that I had to be 30 years old to adopt.  Look at God’s timing!  I was 30 and a few days old at this point.

On July 17, 2004, I was matched with an adorable 4-year-old little girl.  Her birthday, March 2000, the exact time God whispered to me to start praying for the children I would one day adopt.  When I figured that one out, I wept before the Lord.

My dad and I boarded a plane for Beijing on December 23, 2004.  I was full of excitement and scared to death all at the same time.  On December 27, in a hotel in Nanchang, China, I met my daughter.  I wish I could put into words the way I felt when I saw her walking across the lobby floor as I watched from several stories above.  She got on the elevator and I rushed to wait for the doors to open.  She sort of waddled off the elevator dressed in a pink puffy jacket reminding me of the Michelin man.  We were led into a conference room where other members of our travel group were with their girls.  I knelt down in front of her and gently touched her cheek.  Then the tears come and they didn’t stop for probably 30 minutes.  All the prayers, all the years of waiting, all the nights I cried myself to sleep imagining her in an orphanage, we were finally together.

We took a family photo and headed down to get dinner.  Seeing her look at the extensive buffet is a memory I will never forget.  She ate to her heart’s content.  My dad and I were so happy seeing her eat.  Kate’s paperwork indicated she was malnourished.  I wanted to convey to her that she would never go without food again.  After dinner, we made our way to our hotel room.  I showed her toys we had brought for her.  She wasn’t sure what was going on, but did like her new things.  As I helped her get undressed for her bath I was shocked at how tiny she really was.  I had seen malnourished kids on TV but never in real life.  She was my daughter and she was beyond skinny.  My dad had to leave the bathroom because it was so shocking.  I put her in the tub and we splashed and played with the water.  Kate had never had a bath that she remembered.  I washed the filth off her body and as I did, I understood salvation in a whole new way.  Once again, God whispered to my heart.  The soap and water removed the dirt just as Jesus blood removed my sin.  Kate had done nothing to get adopted or to win my love.  No, I had chosen her to be my daughter.  The same is true of my salvation.  I did nothing to be adopted into God’s family.  No, He chose me.  He loves me.  My heart swelled more than it ever has and the tears flowed.  I continued to wash her and praise my God all at the same time.

A few days later, I was feeling overwhelmed with the idea of being a single mom to this beautiful little girl.  How was I actually going to do the day-to-day?  Why did God think I could do this?  I called out to the Lord seeking comfort.  I wanted to hear, “You can do all things through Christ.”  But that’s not what I heard.  No, distinctly I heard, “Pray for the next one.  You are in her land.”

Come back next Monday for part 2.